


If You Can't Tell The Captain What You're Up To

by shankyknitter



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky is a shit, Clint on Kazoo, Humor, M/M, One Shot, Shameless crack fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-19 10:13:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2384606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shankyknitter/pseuds/shankyknitter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky's had enough of the Cap's moral grandstanding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Can't Tell The Captain What You're Up To

Bucky was trying (and failing) to hide his grin. Steve was shaking some piece of his uniform at Tony’s face, clearly agitated by something that had been done to it. The genius just stood there, smirking.

“Look Cap, I made it better. It’s more” Tony gestured, looking for the right word “aerodynamic this way.”

“YOU CUT THE CROTCH OUT!” Steve looked ready to spit.

Bucky snorted.

“You have to ask before you go doin’ things like this Stark!”

Tony shrugged. “You would have said no.”

“And you never ONCE thought that would show this was a bad idea?!”

Clint wandered into the room and Bucky gestured his lover over frantically. “You got that thing I gave ya?”

Clint smirked and pulled a metal kazoo out of a pocket. He was the only one who could get away with having the thing. Mostly because he could turn off his ears when he played it and not annoy himself along with everyone else. But for this? For this he’d been _practicing._ Bucky let loose a dazzling smile.

“If you can’t tell the captain what you’re up to, Tony, it won’t be only him that looks appalled.” Bucky broke out into very loud song. “No if you can’t tell the Captain what you’re planning, genius, you shouldn’t plan to do the thing at all!”

Tony and Steve’s heads whipped around. Just in time for a loving rendition of Star Spangled Man done entirely on kazoo, courtesy of Clint.

“Now I won’t say Cap’s infallible, or that he’s always right. He’s temperamental, judgey, and dear god that man’s uptight.” Bucky tried to continue, but it was increasingly difficult as he couldn’t draw a full breath for laughing. “But his conscience is a litmus test, his ethics sure and sound. So meet his eye and own your shit, or put the shovel DOWN!” He fell over, clutching his sides.

“If you can’t tell the captain what you’re damn well up to, then don’t damn well get up to it at alllllll!” Clint finished for him, with jazz hands.

Steve turned an interesting shade of red, dropped the offending uniform and left without a word. Tony blinked, tried to process what he just heard, and followed. The chorus of laughter from Bucky and Clint following them out.

**Author's Note:**

> The song this references does, in fact, exist. It can be found here: https://soundcloud.com/murder-ballads/the-ballad-of-captain-americas-disapproving-face-pre-release-draft 
> 
> You know you wanna. And if you liked it (I can't imagine why you wouldn't) the band currently has an Indiegogo campaign to fund the release of their first album. That can be found here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/pretty-in-scarlet-the-debut-cd-by-murder-ballads 
> 
> If you can you should go toss money in their general direction.


End file.
